BROKEN ARROW, Okla. — Angela Brewster shares stories of her eldest daughter Makayla, whom she lost three years ago.
After months of being bullied, Makayla took her own life.
Brewster had no idea her daughter was struggling or that anything was going on at school, but she said that’s who Makayla was.
“She never talked about her own feelings. She was always the one that comforted others,” said Brewster. “I guess maybe she felt like she’d be a burden or an inconvenience if she did.”
- Previous coverage >>> Bullying remains problem in Oklahoma schools, FCS says
However, Makayla’s mother wishes more than anything that she would have said anything.
Five days shy of turning 13, Makayla is described as an empathetic and loving young girl who was always looking for ways to take care of others.
Brewster said that when anyone was having a difficult time, Makayla was the person they turned to.
“Makayla was always the happiest, smiliest person in the room,” said Brewster. “Everybody was always attracted to her; she just had all the good vibes… Some of her friends tell me that she was a once-in-a-lifetime friend, just very genuine.”
After finding out about the bullying her daughter endured, Brewster learned that Makayla had told a few people about her struggles, but it wasn’t enough.
“Our household is so lighthearted, and we’re always chipper, go-go-go or high energy that I don’t know, maybe she just, you know, felt like it would’ve dampened the mood, but her absence really dampens the mood,” she said.
Brewster is more focused on an aggressive and intentional approach when checking in on her two younger daughters and their mental health.
Emily Farmer with Family and Children’s Services said having those conversations and not avoiding the scary questions is exactly what how parents can stay aware of how their child is feeling.
“Don’t shy away from asking them questions about ‘have you thought about hurting yourself,’” said Farmer. “We worry that talking about suicide is going to make someone more likely to attempt, but the fact of the matter is talking about it just lets them know that were concerned and that we care, and it’s not going to make anyone more likely to hurt themselves.”
Farmer said signs that parents can be on the lookout for include changes in mood and behavior, as well as the subject matter that their child is talking about.
2 News spoke with FCS in February about the state of bullying in Oklahoma:
While not every situation may look the same, paying attention and asking the right questions can make all the difference.
Farmer recommends that the more open and approachable a parent can be in making the conversation, the better.
Brewster wishes she did something different to let Makayla know she could have opened up, so she wants other parents who may get the opportunity that she didn’t to listen to their kids with an open mind.
“They’re coming to you with something big and really hoping they can confide in you, which they should be able to,” said Brewster. “Just know that it’s a big step, and they’re dealing with something huge, and the fact that they entrust to come to you is a great thing, and I wish that I would’ve, I guess, made it more known to Makayla that she could come to me with anything.”
For anyone in Tulsa County struggling with mental health, Family and Children Services has their COPES crisis line available 24/7 call or text at 918-744-4800.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is another resource for anyone in need, which can also be called or texted at any time.
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