TULSA, Okla. — Candace Lockner describes her son Dylan as her loyal, wild child.
"He was happy, every time you seen him, he was just laughing," she said. "We were very, very close, I mean, he was my boy.”
In Dec. 2021, Dylan passed away from an accidental drug overdose at the age of 23.
His mom knew he was overindulging in alcohol but didn't know he was using anything else.
"I was supposed to spend the night at his house that night, and I didn’t go so I was like if I had been there I could have saved him," said Lockner. "It’s just the impact that it has on you because you didn’t go through all the rehabs, you didn’t go through all the overdoses or anything like that and so it’s such a shock and then you’re so confused and trying to figure out what did I miss? And then you’re harder on yourself, because you’re the parent and you’re supposed to protect them."
Now, it's the not knowing and the 'what ifs' that Lockner thinks about.
“You sit there and think, well, my child, they’re not an addict, so don’t have nothing to worry about there," she said. "It upsets you because you think what signs did you miss, or is there something you could have seen to help him but really there was none.”
As a way to honor her late son, Candace submitted Dylan to be included in the Into Light project.
- PREVIOUS COVERAGE >>> 'Honors the Human Side': Art exhibit remembers those lost to addiction
It's a now national campaign that Theresa Clower started as a way to keep her own son's memory alive.
“Because I feel like I’m able to contribute in some small way to this huge epidemic, the sharpness of that grief is rounded. It’s easier," said Clower.
Into Light has been featured in 11 states, and Oklahoma makes 12. The exhibit features portraits and stories in honor of loved ones who lost their battle with addiction.
Clower's purpose in starting a project like this is to serve as a reminder that these individuals had a disease, and to break down the stigma that surrounds it.
Lockner has always known of that stigma but has become more aware of it since Dylan's passing.
“I guess I’m more aware of how people will look down on somebody and say, well, it’s a choice. Yeah, it was a choice in the beginning, but with everything with the drugs, it changes you, it changes your mind and your thinking, and you do become dependent on it... 9 times out of 10, they would not want to be in the position that they’re in," she said. "If they could just stop, they would stop.”
Portraits of 29 Oklahomans and Clower's son Devin hang on the gallery walls.
30 people, 30 stories, 30 families forever changed.
Three years in, Lockner is actively working through her grief so she can speak more openly about Dylan and be a voice of education in her community.
This project just helped her take one more step in that direction.
"I try to talk about him every day," she said. “Trying to put a face out there out there, showing what they are and who they are and what they meant to you, just trying to save somebody else.”
This speaks directly to Clower's mission of showing the human side of addiction.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, there are a variety of ways to seek help across the state. The Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services has treatment and prevention resources available.
While there may not be many left, Health Outreach Prevention Education does have a free Narcan machine available at 51st and Yale.
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